You're a week away from paydirt, tax preparers. April 17 is so close you can almost taste it, right? Just one last mad dash to the finish line, then it's time to par-tay! Or sleep. Whatever … pick your poison.

In the meantime, there's work to do. If you're like most CPAs, you've probably seen your share of, shall we say, creative deductions cross your desk for inspection.

But lord, they can't be more creative than these:

• The actress who tried to deduct the cost of thong underwear. Or the businessperson who tried to deduct the cost of a wedding because clients were invited. Those are two of the six most ridiculous deductions outlined by the folks at NPR's Planet Money.
• The folks who claim they don't have to pay taxes because it's against their religion … or their state isn't part of America … or their Social Security number is the “mark of the beast” and using it will condemn them to hell. The IRS has heard them all, and so has CNNMoney.
• The doctor who tried to deduct the cost of his Playboy subscription.
• The man who tried to deduct the cost of his wife's pole-dancing lessons as a business expense under “meals and entertainment.”
• Any of these 11 really lame things that tax clients tell their preparers with alarming regularity, courtesy of TaxGirl and Forbes.
• Kramer's scheme to write off Jerry's broken stereo in this “Seinfeld” clip:

Can you top that? What's the craziest deduction you've ever seen a client try to get away with?